I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
