Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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