I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
