They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize