Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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