we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
