I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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