She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
