Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
