I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
