I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
