Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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