This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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