you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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