youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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