kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
