it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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