Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
