there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize