Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize