Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
