So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm like, not good at living.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
