So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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