I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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