My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
