Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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