there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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