Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
