how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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