Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
