After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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