you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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