haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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