Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
