i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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