I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
