I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
