Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
