I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize