I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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