quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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