you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
