I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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