Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
