But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize