She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
