so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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