I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
