you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
