I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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