She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
