GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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