I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
