Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
