This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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