Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need to calm my uterus...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
