I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize