chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sex in a hospital.. check
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
