no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
