If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Randomize
