The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
vagina is talking i cant
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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