God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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