I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is Oprah even human
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
