Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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